So I am now a year older and a year wiser from the last time I ranted about girls. What have I to say now? What more can I possibly have to bash about them all being insane fucking megalomania insensitive hypocrites? Plenty unfortunately. I never want to hear another moronic “young lady” tell me that girls are more mature than men ever again. They are simply not. However, some of them are in dire need of a smack, and a big bruise on their faces to tell the world that they were bad.
I know, I know, I’m a bigot. Fuck you. I came into this world with no prejudice against anyone or anything. Any opinion I have now is based on experience. In fact, if the oh-so-influential media did anything for me, it tried to make me believe that all girls are wholesome and have stronger morals than guys and guys are always wrong and blah blah…I found the exact opposite to be true.
Let’s start with some fun myth vs. fact…
Myth: Men are all pigs, they just want sex
Fact: Most women I know are fucking nuts when it comes to the correct amount of sex guys are supposed to desire. If a guy holds off on a girl enough and honestly wants to love her, sex is practically non-important to him completely…she gets ANGRY. She complains to all her friends. She feels ugly, and unattractive, and whines. Of course, if the guy wants too much sex, then he’s a pig. All of the correct amounts of many things, in this case sex, are determined by what the girl wants. If a girl wanted to be active with her partner 8 days of the week, and for some reason, he only could pull of seven, she’d complain. If she wanted 1 day, and he wanted 2, he’s an animal.
Myth: Men all cheat and are players.
Fact: Women it seems are the ones who love to get all the dick they can … and occasionally some of the other gender as well, which is a whole other problem. Anyway, girls love to see how manipulative they can really be. They just amuse themselves very often with white lies and stories with missing pieces. I don’t know why, I guess it’s just fun to leave parts out and know what you’re keeping in are the pieces of the puzzle than generate…sense of the story. Example:
The seemingly complete story from one person…
I’m friends with Jake.
Jake has been acting really weird around me lately now.
Jake and I are fighting a lot now.
That son of a bitch Jake punched me. I guess we aren’t friends now.
Now the actual tale, with more details…
I’m friends with Jake.
Yesterday, I fucked Jake’s girlfriend.
I think someone told Jake that they suspect I fucked his girlfriend.
Jack has been acting really weird around me lately now.
Jake confronted me about what he heard now, he’s grown hostile.
Jake and I are fighting a lot now.
I told Jake that he can fuck off, she enjoyed it, maybe he shoulda paid her the attention I did.
That son of a bitch Jake punched me. I guess we aren’t friends now.
See that? Well girls love to tell stories like in example 1. I guess it is kinda fun. Haha, no, fuck you. Reasons like that make me think you people voting and working is a mistake. As you can see, the first story makes Jake look like a complete villain. The second story, which is the same story with an extra fact or two, just that little can change so much, and it seems Jake is not the villain, but the hero. Anyway, back on topic, women are devious about cheating. Men don’t do that. Usually when women cheat, they do it in this vindictive way. I’m not condoning men cheating simply based on the reason that men just want ass sometimes and women are out for blood, but there is a difference in those two motives.
Now, here’s the next topic, what kind of women cheat. For this exercise, let’s break down groups…attractive women vs. unattractive women. Is that fair? No, I can sit here and do all kinds of different girls, but let’s stick to two basic kinds of women, the ones that are attractive in some way and the ones that aren’t.
The attractive girl – Attractive girl, she attracts. Know what’s gonna happen, 1 out of every 10 guys she attracts, she will also be attracted to. So with that problem, being easy for her to get guys, she has many options. She can be extremely picky, and settle for only the finest of the litter, and lucky for her, she gets ups at selecting one very often. Not that fair is it? Psychologically, this may actually help her loyalty. Knowing that she may get guys, maybe a deterrent. Between being picky and sticking with the best until only better comes along, this gives them a slightly higher loyalty factor than one may think. But beware two things. A guy that DOES indeed catch her eye, as well as a guy who should by all logic be in love with her, but treats her like shit. This will only encourage her to try harder to lure him in. Ironic how it works like that.
The unattractive girl – What’s more ironic is how this will work. One may think that you meet a girl whose dumb as a fire-hydrant and shaped the same way, that she’d latch onto anything that came her way, and will sink her claws into him and drain him till he is a shell. Part of that sentence is true. If you are dealing, however, with a girl who knows she is unattractive, watch out. This girl is going to be swept off her feet 3 times a day. Every guy who glances in her general direction is “Mr. Right.” The ugly girl who can’t get any isn’t going to pass up an opportunity to get some. This leads to them being fairly easy…oh yeah, and disloyal. This makes them feel wanted and more attractive.
Moral here is simple: All girls cheat! Young, old, big, small, pretty, ugly, all ages, shapes, sizes and colors… Sad, but true.
Myth: Men blab to their guy friends everything.
Fact: Most of what goes on between couples is mushy crap, inane to guys’ conversation. To tell your friends the rest of the mushy crap as a guy, is plainly gay. No guy wants to talk about too much of what happened with his friends. Sorry girls, you aren’t that prominent in conversation. Girls however, they will tell their friends everything! Guys, you know what I’m talking about. If you ever hung out with your girlfriend’s friends, they all know things about you that they definitely shouldn’t. Your friends may know, “Yeah I fucked her!” Girls however, they know lots of details…ironically, nothing good. Girls tend to notice only bad things. A guy has a blemish, a pimple, goofy underwear, all of these details go right into the diary for all of “the girls” to read.
Now just some observations. When girls don’t like something about a guy, it comes right out of their never ending flapping mouths. They are prepared all hours of the day to shake you down as much as possible. They will tell you everything they want you to change about yourself in a heartbeat. If you don’t like anything about them, however, two things can happen. Either it is quickly disregarded and grows worse, or it’s a fight. You’re being selfish.
Also, another great feature about girls, they all have way more guy friends than girl friends. Notice that? Girls always “get along better with guys.” Yeah, I can tell you why. Girls are shitty friends. That’s why guys almost never want to be friends with fucking stupid cackling girls ever. Girls obviously don’t care much for each other either. Girls who are reading this, think about that. Know what else, think about what I just said, guys do not like having friends that are girls most of the time. What does that mean? If a guy is hanging around you a lot, he wants to get into your pants. That is his objective. Even funnier, is that a lot of times, girls have “guy friends” who they know either like them, or are their exboyfriends. This is also very amusing. Think these guys will stick with you through thick and thin? Or maybe they just want to stick you…you already know this deep inside already (no pun intended). Girls reading this, take a good look at yourself. Tell me if I’m wrong. Tell me if you don’t notice that there’s some sort of pattern to all of this. If I have never met you before, and I’m dead on, think about that.
One last thing. Most girls out there possess several of these traits. Take a good look on this and tell me how you measure up. If you have any complaints or something you want to whine about, email me.
Give yourself points:
1 point – Poetry: For some reason, so many girls think they’re Edgar Allen fucking Poe. Well you aren’t. Your bad poetry amounts to nothing more than you girls not being able to shut the fuck up ever, and when no one is around, you have to talk to someone and settle for paper. None of your work is ever published because no one wants to read bad, non-rhyming metaphors about how your favorite something was lost or taken from you.
4 points – Self Mutilation/”Suicide” Attempts: A lot of you girls love the attention of this nonsense. I’m sorry, but if 1 or 2 of you people did it, I’d say it was sad and an issue, and needed proper care. Like 80 fucking percent of you all do it though. Kill yourself please, don’t live so you can tell everyone how you “almost killed yourself once.” Then say “look at this scar.” If you can’t deal with the same fucking problems as everyone else in this world, you shouldn’t be here anyway.
3 points – Witchcraft: Another disease bubbling with you girls. You whip out a Milton-Bradley Ouiji board and read a spell book, you think you’re all empowered. Most of you don’t know a fucking thing about witchcraft and don’t have any intention for using it properly (for those who are firm believers). You are not empowered. Movies and TV shows like the Craft and Charmed have fucked most of you up. Mayhaps you should try suicide as listed up above instead.
3 points – Raped/Molestation: Stop the stories. Most of you girls weren’t molested or raped. I hear this one a lot, then the story that follows is bullshit. Of course if you say that, the girl cries and all of her strategically place buddies swarm you and you are marked the asshole. I recall a story I once heard… A girl got high with her boyfriend and they started to have sex, with her objecting very half-heartedly. Finally, she was able to say with a straight enough face that she really did not want to continue. …and so her boyfriend stopped. This however became her rape story very shortly after. Ridiculous.
1 point – Bisexuality: Yes, a lot of you girls love to be bisexual. It’s almost like coming out of the closet and shocking everyone, but with and excuse to continue chasing after guys and never actually pursue a girl of any sort. Face it, society doesn’t care for the most part anyway now, so you may as well just be straight or gay legitly and stop trying to shock everyone.
2 points – Parental Issues: A lot of girls these day are playing the messed up parent card. These are girls mind you who live at home with no job and no responsibility and just love to complain about how awful some of their parents are…this is NO better however than the girls who do have parent issues. Any parental issue royally fucks girls up. Girls with parental issues either hate everyone secretly or cling to things too quickly and their relationship with the entire planet is fucked up.
1 point – Blogs: Yeah, a lot of you people have online journals and stuff. More of that great “can’t shut up” factor from above, just like poetry. The ironic thing about these journals is that they are not journals. Journals are relatively private. Livejournals and other blogs like it are completely public, open to everyone on the planet… Sometimes, it’s used as a method of telling people things, without actually telling them. Very gutless way to do things.
|0||You’re an amazing woman, email me for my phone number.|
|1-2||You aren’t half bad. You should be proud of yourself.|
Uh oh! You’re a risk…You aren’t the worst yet, but you can be, if you’re young. Bare in mind you have a life to live still, and any number of points can begin pushing you over the edge.
|8-11||You’re horrible. You aren’t too horrible, but you’re pretty lousy. If you have a boyfriend, I’m sure he slightly wishes you were dead. There’s still time though, try hard to get back to a decent rating. It’s your only hope.|
|12-14||Come on now, you’re a joke. You’re friends probably all laugh behind your back about you and love to hear your stories, and the trouble you get yourself into. Your presence is like Pigpen’s from the Peanuts Gang to them.|
|15||You’re inexcusable. Please kill yourself. You’re a miserable burden on everyone on the planet. You will never marry and most likely die alone with no friends or loved ones. No guy will ever put up with you for more than a year. You are scarier than most monsters, please die.|
Only those with a score of 7 or lower may email me to complain. Higher than that, I’m right automatically. Peace.