Monthly Archives: July 2010

WWE Raw 7/26/2010

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9:00 – Let’s rock and roll! Obligatory recap of last week, oh criminy, is there a guest host tonight?
9:03 – Cena starting off the show. This promo is going to be kind of useless until someone joins in. I guess I’ll just have to grit and bare it.
9:07 – Hey an interruption! Welcome, Jericho!
Wouldn’t it be amazing if one of these guys defected AT Summer Slam?
9:09 – Wow, the crowd’s really popping for Y2J
9:13 – Cena does well going from comedy to drama quickly. Jericho being difficult, as always, is working well also.
9:16 – Did anyone thinking Summer Slam WOULDN’T be an elimination match? Oh good, we’ve resumed the using catch phrases of past superstars.
Well that segment was ok, the faces and the heels are going to have beef being on the same side. Sounds about right…

9:20 – I hope this isn’t going to be Miz Vs. R Truth, this feud is worn out.
9:23 – Why doesn’t Orton wear any wrist tape? It just looks weird. Who is Orton squashing this week. I take that back, who is he going to have a brief match with and then Sheamus will interfere?
9:26 – I feel like Vince McMahon has given me a very limited education about Samoans. Basically, they’re kind of black, they have big asses, and like to head-butt people.
9:27 – So Sheamus waited until after the match…
9:28 – Miz with another cash-in tease?

I still dislike very much that on a wrestling show, we’ve had only 4 minutes of wrestling in a half hour. That’s not a good ratio.
9:31 – I wouldn’t mind not having the Khali in the Summer Slam match. I don’t much care for him. He can’t bump and he always loses anyway.

9:36 – Wow, they just showed the boat ride I went on in San Antonio. Hard to believe I was there. Ooh, Miz and Sheamus!! Michael Cole has received another manager…
9:38 – OMG They’re gonna show the Warrior!! Since Hulk Hogan went over to TNA, Vince doesn’t seem to hate Macho Man or the Warrior as much anymore.
9:39 – “I heard what you said about Khali earlier” – how about it was on NATIONAL LIVE TV!? Does anyone want to see Khali go over?
9:46 – Well the Nexus just saved us from this match.
9:48 – Edge Vs Khali + Nexus = no match and a waste of our time. That wasn’t even a match. We’ve still only had 4 minutes of action.

9:52 – This match will eat up some time if it’s elimination, unless the Nexus dominates, which isn’t impossible.
9:53 – Michael Cole announcing by himself makes me feel like I’m being punished. Well, Yoshi just went to waste, I remember when he was on ECW and he actually got used and won matches.
9:58 – So Lawler is gone.
9:59 – Um, is Slater using the Zig Zag? Doesn’t someone else have dibs on that move?
10:03 – I’m gonna go raid my fridge. I’ll be back after Kidd is eliminated and then Bourne has the big display of heart and still loses.
10:06 – I just got my hands on some chocolate and peanut butter in the kitchen. Now that I’m in the living room again, it looks as though Evan Bourne is being brutalized. Does that mean I was right?
10:13 – I love the Miz. That is all.
10:17 – A Bella is wrestling?? That doesn’t happen. I guess that means one of them is getting squashed?
10:21 – Vegetable of the day… squash.
10:26 – You know what would be awesome? If the reason R-Truth is at ringside for this Morrison/DiBiase match is because he’s going to turn on Morrison and take up DiBiase’s offer to be the new Virgil. He really needs something to do.
10:28 – I love Maryse. That is all.
10:30 – Well at least there’s a conflict. I was hoping for that. It will make the dynamic of the Raw team at Summer Slam even more hostile.

10:37 – Are they showing us the same recap as the beginning of the show? FILLER! Can’t we get Zack Ryder in a match or something?
10:40 – Typical Orton promo, he’s better when he’s sharing interview time with an opponent. Looks like our main event is getting ready.

10:48 – I Just realized that I hadn’t written anything in a while and then realized, that’s because nothing has happened. Basically, nothing happened for the last 18 minutes in this show. This Raw isn’t so hot.
10:51 – This crowd seems to be pro-Y2J. I wonder if they’re going to throw us any double teams between Cena and Jericho, such as the famed FURKO Cena did with Orton.
10:54 – Oooh, an attitude adjustment into a code-breaker could work really well.
10:56 – Jericho totally did a babyface showboat after drop-kicking Sheamus off the apron.
11:00 – Sheamus totally stole Jericho’s “ask him” just now.
11:02 – Stupid ending. Why would Jericho make an effort to win the match that whole time JUST to turn on Cena? Lousy ending to the match.
11:04 – Ok, the whole team is a mess. 86 the entire team and get some guys that actually get along. There’s a month until Summer Slam. Oh well, crappy Raw overall.
Rating: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆

WWE Raw 7/19/2010 Review

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I’ve decided to make an attempt at playing the role of an analyst for WWE programming. After last night’s solid ‘Money in the Bank’ payperview, I’m going to begin with the following Raw.

9:00 – The show opens up with a triple threat match to determine who will challenge for the WWE Championship at Summer Slam in a month. Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, then Edge make their way to the ring. These three guys are fully capable of main eventing. This seems out of place for a show opener. Perhaps we will have a swerve?

9:15 – As expected, these three are performing solidly, after a commercial break, we return very methodically paced action. If this match is really going to determine the next challenger, it’s hard to believe Jericho or Edge will win, with Orton being the white hot babyface. Edge Vs. Sheamus or Jericho Vs. Sheamus, although would be excellent matches with great promos to boot, probably would fail to draw as much as Orton Vs. Sheamus.

On a side note, these three guys were part of the Money in the Bank main match last night and all lost, as did Bourne, Morrison, DiBiase and Mark Henry. What makes them eligible to compete for the number one contender’s spot? A fresh face maybe nice to see. Come on WWE, these guys have all be World Champions or WWE Champion before.

9:20 – Does Jericho ever hit the lionsault anymore?

9:21 – Well, Orton was the victor. DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING!

9:27 – Edge calling Jericho to the ring… what could this be? Career-ending match? Truce? Loser leaves Raw?

9:28 – The “this thing between us has been going on for 11 years” thing is such retrofitting nonsense.

9:31 – So now with the Nexus turns on Jericho next? Seems right…

9:33 – I’m just waiting for a Cena run-in, followed by emails from the G.M.

9:39 – Sheamus is flirting with the enemy, seems interesting. I don’t know about Mathews calling the Nexus the most powerful group in WWE history… seems like we’re forgetting DX, Hart Foundation, Los Boricuas … ok scatch that last one. John Cena asking for a face to face? Teasing a turn? I’d say that means it isn’t going to happen. Why are we having a Henry Vs. Barrett match? Is it to tell the audience what a powerful force Henry is only to job him to Barrett? I guess that could work.

9:48 – Eve Torres to face Maryse (accompanied by Ted Dibiase). Anyone notice the black and gold coat Maryse was wearing? Shades of the Million Dollar Man! Maryse is going over, by hook or by crook.

9:51 – I’m shocked, both that I was wrong and that… the face has a tainted victory. When does the heel ever lose by the ref not seeing the foot on the rope?? Well at least John Morrison did that move that looks great, but never hits the mark. That whole segment was actually pointless.

9:57 – Sheamus out … he’ll probably talk for a few minutes, then we’ll get either Barrett or Orton (or both out) for an eye to eye. At least I hope so. We don’t have a lot of time to build this castle we call “Summer Slam 2010.”

10:01 – Yay, my favorite wrestler and the best wrestler in the world right now, The Miz, has just came to make this promo … awesome!

I really hope The Miz isn’t the first guy to ever cash in his Money in the Bank and lose. I’d be really unhappy. He needs to be the champion for a long, long time.

10:05 – G.M. email, Sheamus Vs. Evan Bourne, I had a feeling they’d announce him. I don’t expect him to win or deal that much damage to Sheamus. The Miz being the guy stalking his prey, waiting to pounce is an excellent device that I know he’ll utilize to the fullest.

10:19 – I didn’t think they were going to waste a Money in the Bank right away. I figured when The Miz cashed in and Sheamus was not responding, something would happen and The Miz would retreat with the MITB still in tact. The crowd was loving it though. The Miz is over, even being a heel.

10:25 – Great promo by The Miz, of course, what promo of his isn’t great? Summer Slam promo, showing us the 1998, featuring Jim Ross saying it was the “tenth annual Summer Slam.” It was actually the 11th, but who is counting. Oh yeah, me. Finally, our face to face with Orton and Sheamus. I think we get it, the champion has a target/bullseye on his back.

10:32 – Santino and Kozlov – time for our comic relief for the evening. Zack Ryder and William Regal?? Why is Zack Ryder being wasted like this? How many weeks in a row do we have to see Regal, Kozlov and Santino doing this tired routine? Maybe they’ll swerve us and Zack Ryder will pull off a win and throw some “L I” hand signals around. …I can dream, can’t I?

10:36 – Oh look, Santino and Kozlov won, maybe they’ll challenge the Harts next week?

10:40 – Wade Barrett out to face Mark Henry. I guess this is the last match, before our main event… which will be John Cena not joining the Nexus? Hmm, Sheamus is up against Orton for Summer Slam, Cena doesn’t have much to do, a Cena/Nexus program for Summer Slam seems in order. Could it just be Cena Vs. Barrett though? I feel like a big tag team match, or something else would need to be in order. Barrett and Cena wouldn’t exactly be a draw. Maybe some more of their master plan will be revealed. Maybe it will involve this anonymous G.M.?

10:45 – Barrett almost killed himself, but he pulled it off, he did his fireman’s carry into a slam maneuver. It’s only 10:45 though, we have a lot of time for stuff to happen. Poor Barrett is still holding his back… Hope he didn’t hurt himself too much.

10:53 – “Nexus Sucks More Than Texas” sign in the audience. I dunno if I agree with that, the Nexus angle is pretty good so far, where Texas… well it’s Texas… Oh Cena’s finally out. Let’s see where this goes, or doesn’t go.

10:57 – Are they trying to replicate Hogan joining the Outsiders? I can’t really imagine Cena joining the group of noobs, it wouldn’t turn Cena heel, he’d just be a reluctant participant. Who would he feud with? Would he turn his back on his “friend” Mark Henry?

11:00 – I’m waiting for the swerve…

11:02 – 7 on 7 at Summer Slam? That’ll be interesting. I would like to see one superstar defect to the Nexus, but this could draw some buys. So it’s Edge, R-Truth, Morrison, Khali, Jericho, Cena, and BRET?!? Ok, didn’t see that coming! Interesting dynamic.

Overall, not a bad show! We didn’t hear too much from the G.M. though. That’s probably a good thing. Maybe I’ll chime in for one of these other shows this week, Smackdown, NXT, Impact! (barf). We’ll see…