Monthly Archives: August 2010

4 Years of Wrestling, 4 Years of Life

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Thinking about how wrestling changes so much in four years made me realize how much life in general changes every four years.

1993 – Lex Luger was the All American Hero, fighting the evil Yokozuna, who was the champion. Yokozuna had just defeated Hulk Hogan, the most famous hero of wrestling, for the championship and Hogan vanished from the industry. Bret Hart shared the spotlight as the top guy in the WWF. There was some little company called WCW also on the map, but barely. I was 11 years old, between grade school and middle school. I had my first crush on a girl. My parents owned a ski shop in Windham, NY.

1997 – The number one wrestling company was WCW, Lex Luger was their champion for a brief title reign, but it was lost to Hulk Hogan, the leader of the nWo and top villain. In the WWF, Yokozuna had also vanished. Bret Hart was a despised villain, feuding with Stone Cold Steve Austin, a beer-drinking foul mouthed redneck. Steve Austin was the top guy in the company. I was a sophomore in high school. I was now 15 and living in New York City, coming off the heels of my parents divorcing. I was listening to a lot of Spice Girls and thrilled because Thundercats had returned to TV on the Cartoon Network.

2001 – WCW completely fell, the company was absorbed by the triumphant WWF. Bret Hart suffered a career-ending concussion a few month before and no longer could wrestle. Steve Austin lost some of his momentum, sharing the stage with The Rock, the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. The two seemed to feud on and off for years. After a long battle back and forth between the members of WCW and the WWF, the championships are all merged and Chris Jericho becomes the undisputed champion. I had just completed my first year in college and dealt with my first bout of heartbreak, boo hoo. I also worked my first 9-5er.

2005 – The WWF was now WWE. There was also a WWE Hall of Fame, which Hulk Hogan was inducted into. He had returned to the WWF briefly and had an electrifying match with The Rock. Meanwhile, the titles had been split once again, and the two big names in the industry were Batista and John Cena, each a champion. I was now working at J&R, top salesman, as far as I am concerned. I stopped going to school and worked, while now living by myself.

2009 – John Cena is still the man on top, Undertaker and Shawn Michaels are the veterans who have the show-stealing match. Steve Austin is inducted into the Hall of Fame. I find myself in Texas, at WrestleMania, seeing all of this go down. I managed to find myself unemployed, but returning to school. My cat Beeky, whom I had for 18 years died. I wonder what 2013 is going to be like?

What’s funny is, skipping spaces of four years, I managed to miss Bill Goldberg, and Brock Lesnar.

Raw Review 8/16/2010

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9:03 – We lost, but it doesn’t matter. Roar!
9:04 – I hope there’s a lot of focus on Bryan tonight. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense why he had beef with the Nexus, but I don’t care, I marked out anyway and I’m thrilled he’s back.
9:08 – This Raw is starting off fun. I hope that the GM doesn’t interrupt and ruin everything.
9:09 – Can we get some progression now, reveal the GM or the higher power? Maybe they’re the same guy?
9:10 – Is the guy in the white shirt behind the announcers’ table the “hot” werewolf from this season of True Blood?
9:13 – I hope tonight is action packed and since Team WWE is competing, we better see Bryan and even Bret having a win would be nice.
9:18 – Ok, Wade Barrett Vs. Chris Jericho. Let’s go! Barrett losing would be awesome, someone could step in to the role of leader… someone we aren’t expecting.
9:24 – Wade Barrett over Jericho. 6 more to go?
9:33 – What is the point of guest hosts? They don’t even plug their stuff, they just walk out do something dumb and leave.
9:34 – FINALLY! They’re actually stopping this silly Unified titles thing. I was actually just wondering when they were going to do that. Then again, I wonder that every time that I see them. Maybe they’ll defend on Smackdown once in a while?
9:35 – Maybe after Justin Gabriel loses this match, he’ll eventually become a face and he and Evan Bourne can be a tag team with sick high flying combinations and it can propel them both a bit.
9:40 – Tarver Vs. Bryan? I hope Bryan wins!
9:43 – I guess that was necessary, but I don’t aprove. Tarver over by roll-up due to distraction by The Miz.
9:45 – Nice, Bret returns to the ring after a whole 24 hours of not being in the ring.
9:58 – Justin Gabriel Vs. Bret Hart isn’t happening. Way to false advertise. Well, Gabriel should be out of the Nexus in… say 6 minutes?
10:02 – Oh, Orton’s going to lose via count out.
10:03 – Ok, so most likely there will be one member of Nexus that will get tossed tonight. Maybe Young, since he’s taking on Cena, who can only lose if he’s shot in the heart.
10:06 – I’m almost positive that is Joe Manganiello in the audience.
10:11 – Skip and David against Morrison and K-Kwik? They can’t 86 2 members of Nexus in one shot… can they?
10:16 – Nope. So, Slater Vs. Edge?
10:17 – Divas tag! Nap time!
10:26 – Lawl “Memory Lane is closed, don’t go there.”
10:33 – Not thrilled that the Miz and Sheamus really aren’t used all that much. They’re champions. Come to think of it, all that Hart Dynasty did was swap belts. Champs aren’t important.
10:34 – I just heard a fan yelling about “…The Brood, we remember!”
10:38 – The Nexus wins are kinda cheaping out a bit. Oh well, Young’s going to lose. Slater over via count out.
10:53 – I wonder how this will play out? Will Cena win, Nexus turn on Young and beat him up, then Cena will help him in a show of compassion?
10:54 – John Cena vs. Darren Young.
11:02 – Cena wins via tap out. Let’s see what the future holds for Young…
11:04 – Anyone notice Jerry Lawler call Darren Young “Daniel Bryan” just now?
11:06 – So young got beaten up, predictable. Not a horrible Raw to follow Summer Slam.
Rating: ★★★★★★½☆☆☆

WWE Raw 8/9/2010

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9:00 – So, the Raw before Summer Slam. We need to see Bret Hart. We need some more matches announced. We need to establish that there’s some more camaraderie between the members of team WWE, or get new members. We have a lot of stuff to do in two hours, let’s get cracking and now show movie trailers or promos over and over again.
9:03 – Look at that group in the middle seats against the guard rail, they have a lot of replica belts. It’s quite eye-catching.
9:05 – Edge and Chris Jericho face to face with Bret Hart? I like it!
9:06 – Edge didn’t show up. I guess we need some one on one time. I mean, it’s Bret!
9:07 – Bret is really sweaty. I hope he isn’t doing steroids to prepare for Summer Slam.
9:10 – Jericho doesn’t want back in on the team. Now we get Edge.
9:11 – I can’t wait until Edge turns putting Bret over into a heel promo somehow…
9:13 – It sucks that the Nexus just beat up the Hart Dynasty, but, they aren’t in the Summer Slam match, they aren’t doing much of anything, so why do I care? Answer: I don’t.
9:19 – Evan Bourne Vs the Miz! I’m psyched!!
9:20 – The crowd is chanting “Miz Is Awe-some!” That’s MY chant for the Miz!
9:21 – The Miz needs a name for that turnbuckle clothesline. Maybe the Mizline?
9:24 – Good match, textbook finish. Only 5 minutes though. Not exactly enough to be a show stealer.
9:30 – So this Raw has been pretty good, but still 5 minutes of wrestling for the first half hour. SIGH This recap means more meaningless divas action.
9:32 – Is this a title match between Melina and Alicia Fox? Summer Slam is this weekend …could be a good place for a divas’ title match.
9:35 – I couldn’t quite get what the crowd was saying just now. I think this match is boring everyone. These two don’t work well together. Their chemistry is lousy.
9:37 – Ok, so she won, but it wasn’t a title match. So…. Summer Slam? What’s happening?
9:38 – Josh Mathews stopped with his bad haircut. I had no idea who Khali challenged until Mathews translated.
9:42 – Alright, Melina got the title shot at least. Wade Barrett and Khali tonight as well.
9:45 – These backstage statements are fun, Morrison’s beard is not growing on me, no pun intended.
9:50 – Mark Henry Vs. Ted Dibiase. Oh more not wrestling matches. Maybe this will progress Summer Slam a bit more.
9:52 – So an attack on Mark Henry by the Nexus. Now what? Oh Sheamus on his way to the ring. At least we get Orton and Sheamus face to face.
9:59 – Sheamus talkin’, is “arse” PG?
10:01 – Will this exchange between Orton and Sheamus end with a brawl? If so, who will win?
10:06 – The GM is encouraging a brawl? These stipulations about interference are interesting, but kind of silly. Here’s the brawl…
10:09 – Do we predict Sheamus retaining at Summer Slam since Orton won the exchange?
10:14 – NXT? I’ll be in the other room.
10:18 – Sheamus kicking some arse! Is someone going into the GM stand?
10:20 – So Morrison and K-Kwik against….
10:25 – Zack Ryder and Regal…great.
10:27 – Ryder’s trunks make this match worth watching. I hope Zack Ryder pins Morrison.
10:30 – So the opposite of what I wanted happened. It had to though.
10:37 – 5 and a half hot girls in the ring, and the crowd is chanting for Santino. I think that says it all.
10:41 – Again, Santino finds romance.
10:43 – Yay! Khali was attacked! No Khali match.
10:50 – “We’re the Nexus. Only some of us have charism.”
10:52 – I love that the Miz made a Kerrigan reference.
10:53 – I’d like to see Bret in wrestling gear again. I guess Batman tshirts will have to do.
10:56 – Justin Long is the guest host, and the GM is a MacBook, it works perfectly!
10:59 – Edge grew up watching wrestling at a time where guys like Hogan and Hart were the best of the best. Now here he is, in 2010, he’s been co-holder of the tag team championship with Hulk Hogan and is wrestling Bret Hart. Wow
11:04 – I wonder if Bret can handle a “hot tag” at this point in his life.
11:06 – I love and hate watching Bret wrestle nowadays.
11:07 – So the band is back together again, a? I’d love to see the Miz join in there in Khali’s place. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s AWESOME!!

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

WWE Raw 8/2/2010

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9:00 – Ok, we really need a good Raw tonight, last week was utter garbage. TNA Impact was better on Thursday. TNA!
9:03 – 3 minute opening? That’s a bad sign if they’re starting off with filler. Hopefully they won’t pull what they did last week and show the same promo in the middle again.
Ooh, Miz Vs Orton, good! Uh oh, Cena movie trailer, more filler!
9:10 – This promo is boring me. Why would R-Truth even care if Edge wanted to face Wade Barrett? Does anyone notice each week that Michael Cole announces that he has an email from the GM, he does it slower and slower, almost as if he’s trying to be as annoying as possible.
9:21 – At least this has been a relatively solid match thus far. I find it hard to believe Edge will go over. It wouldn’t make the Nexus look good.
9:22 – Just when I thought the match was gonna start really getting interesting… sigh…
9:25 – So far, in 26 minutes, we’ve had 6 minutes of wrestling. R-Truth and Edge had way too much time to not put either of them over or progress anything – which led to a match where nothing ultimately happened.
9:28 – So a half hour of nonsense to get to the point of Edge quitting the team. That could have been set up in the first 3 minutes. This sucks. At least they’re about to show a recap of Bret Vs Perfect from Summer Slam 1991.
9:31 – It’s probably a mistake to show one of the best matches of all time, ever, during a Raw that is just not cutting it.
9:33 – Teasing a Khali Nexus switch – I’d prefer he be where I am the night of Sumer Slam, sitting at home watching it on TV, because he really doesn’t belong in this match at all anyway. I’d almost rather see him turn on team WWE. When he was a heel, he was world champion. Now hes’s a face, he kisses old women and always loses.
9:36 – Oh Jesus, a divas’ tag match? Here’s a list of what this will do for any of them:
…this concludes the list of things this match will do for any of them. Where’s Milena been?
9:38 – Alicia Fox sure is sexy.
9:39 – Gail Kim sure is sexy.
9:40 – The wise thing to do here would be to somehow work Alicia Fox and Tamina. That would be the wise thing.
9:41 – Nope, the match is over. This match did nothing for anyone. Uh oh, Fox is bragging. She just said there wasn’t a diva that she hadn’t beaten… TAMINA right there! Oh well, I had a feeling this was just cannon fodder for Milena to come back. I knew she was over an injury and was waiting to come back. I was just hoping we’d get something new.
9:48 – So 10 minutes of wrestling in 48 minutes. Yeah, I’m keepin’ track. Do us a favor and DON’T tease the Miz cashing in this week. It will get old. Now, who’s jobbing to Sheamus?
9:49 – At least Goldust is getting a pay day! At least Goldust handed him his first loss! Of course, they don’t want us to remember that. Hey, I am pretty sure I was at the event last year when they met. Sheamus said after the match, something like, “I came in search of gold, but all I got was gold dust.”
9:52 – This isn’t only a job, this is a squash.
9:53 – About 13 minutes of wrestling so far.
9:55 – Ok, so we have Jericho Vs. Cena, DiBiase Vs Khali and Orton Vs. Miz tonight. Hopefully we’ll have some more action in this hour.
10:00 – I can’t really predict the outcome of this one. Jericho has never beat Cena, so that seems unlikely, but both outcomes would make the Summer Slam match interesting. This is a tough one. Of course, there’s no guarantee that this match will have a definitive outcome…
10:04 – The Cena waiting until a nine count and tearing ass back into the ring is getting old.
10:07 – I feel like this is the first match of the evening.
10:10 – I wonder if Jericho will go for the liontamer and miss it in this match.
10:13 – Huh? He did the lionsault, but it … either missed, or Cena didn’t get out of the way on time, or just sloppy selling on Cena’s part.
10:16 – Again, why would Jericho fight that entire match trying to win, and tap immediately before the STF was even locked in?
10:19 – Alright, so no more Jericho, no more Edge. Khali will probably be replaced by DiBiase tonight… is Bret going to re-assemble everyone next week or something?
10:27 – I like Edge and Jericho smoothing things over. What’s with this ridiculous match next week? Is the Nexus going to attack the WWE superstars and they’ll have to fight side by side anyway?
10:40 – YAWN Khali wins. Miz main eventing??
10:44 – WTF is this?? What is this, Entertainment Tonight?
10:46- Thank God, I waited an hour and forty-seven minutes to see the Miz.
10:52 – It just dawned on me, The Nexus really hasn’t done very much tonight. Are we about due?
10:59 – Michael Cole being into the Miz is so weird. Just turn him into the heel commentator, we don’t need no ‘tweeners.
11:04 – Match of the night. Still a weak Raw.

Rating: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆