My Pet Peeves

  1. When I want people to do something or try something and they refuse over and over again. Later on, they tell me that they finally tried whatever it was that I wanted them to do, without me, and of course, they did it completely wrong and had a horrible experience. Now they never want to do it again as long as they live. Example: I tell you that you need to try penne alla vodka. You explain to me time and time again your silly reasons for not doing so. Then one day, I catch up with you and you tell me that you tried it and it was terrible and you aren’t going to eat it ever again. When I ask where you tried it, you tell me it was at some roadside diner in New Jersey at 3 AM. Do me a favor and try sky driving without an parachute, that way when you do mess up and do it wrong, you can’t complain about it afterward.

  2. When people vanish while we have (tentative) plans. Seriously, don’t make me chase after you. If I’m expecting to hear from you, don’t just vanish on me. It always ends the same way, I get a text, not a phone call, that you have decided that today/tonight is no good. That’s fine, but you could have just said that to begin with. You didn’t need to waste my time having me wait so you can tell me last minute that you aren’t going to chill with me. Usually this happens when people actually have no plans of incorporating you into whatever they’re doing, but do not want to disappoint you, so rather than saying “no,” they decide it’s better to say maybe, with the intention of saying “no” later. I’ll say “maybe” to you next time you need a ride to the hospital. After all of your loved ones die in the hopsital because I made you wait a few hours, I’ll text you to tell you that I’m going to take a nap instead.

  3. People who always say “no” when you invite them anywhere, yet the one time you don’t invite them, they flip out and act like you have wronged them somehow and claim that they definitely would have come. Seriously, you dug your own grave. when you say no, the person who usually invites you out starts feeling not only like they’re wasting their time, but like they’re being a nag who isn’t taking the hint. Nobody wants to be “that guy” and keep asking you to hang out if you always say “no.”

  4. People who ask you a question repeatedly when you already have told them that you don’t know the answer. How many times as someone asked you a question and you respond, “I don’t know?” You mean that. It’s fact. You do not know. What’s 2+2? It’s 4. I know that. 2^219? I don’t know. Now, not much is going to change that. If I find out, I’ll probably tell you. If I tell you I do not know, then you ask me again 2 minutes later, I’m still not going to know. Please, stop asking me.

  5. People who don’t yield to the right! Simple etiquite here in the States, when head on with someone and walking in opposing directions, you yield to the right. There is no way to mess this up then, because everyone is doing what they’re supposed to be doing. If you yield to the left, you’re probably a Nazi or a terrorist.

  6. People who say “you don’t understand.” How many times has someone tried to explain to you that you don’t understand something, when you simply do. Usually this is a method of feeling like one is better than the person they are complaining to. You are relaying to people, when you tell them that they don’t understand something, that you have some sort of life experience that they do not have anything even similar to. Your life isn’t that special, most people deal with the same problems. Unless you’ve had children or have been bombarded with nuclear waste and have strange new powers and cannot articulate the sensations your body is feeling, it’s probably understandable.

  7. People who say “excuse me,” seemingly to get past you, and then when you move aside for them they stand in the spot you were just in as if they somehow had some claim to it. This usually happens on the subway a lot, but also just happened to me at a concert. A guy said excuse me, I took a half a step back to let him pass (he looked like he was going to continue as well) and stopped right in front of me! Then just stood there, occassionally leaning over awkwardly as if he was looking for someone and contemplating going further, but just stood there abnormally close to me and invading my space. He also smelled like b.o. and was bopping to the rhythm of a song, making him even more in my way. I was going to walk in front of him again, but once I realized he smelled awful, I simply moved to away from him in any direction I could.

  8. People who change history to retrofit stories and make stuff look better. Seriously, I’m sure you all know these people. Usually it’s relationship driven and I’d say girls are worse offenders than guys. Typically, the party will put down an significant other shortly after a break-up, downplaying many of the other party’s finer character traits. Likewise, when the ex is in one’s good graces and the new flame is starting to die, the ex will suddenly rehash “bees’ knees” status. Consistency people, it goes a long way!
  9. Infatuated individuals who praise those they are interested in with generic details that can apply to anyone. Fellow dudes, have you ever been into a girl, but she just isn’t feeling you back? One day, she’s into a new guy, what reasons does she place him on a pedestal for? “He’s ambitious.” “He’s polite.” “He made me food.” “He held the door for me.” Just about anything that a guy trying to impress a girl would do, but for some reason, with this guy, it’s a big deal. At least guys don’t do that, not that I’ve seen at least.

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