How Do I Know that My Life is Meaningless?

Humanity has evolved and progressed to this point. We now have money – which was a great idea. We have businesses. We have corporations. From this realm comes the very pinnacle of humanity, the peak in our evolution that we will never top – presentations. We now have presentations. Beyond that, we have software that makes these presentations, namely, Power Point and Keynote. Using these applications for their intended purpose is one thing, sure. It is, however, a slippery slope of which I am at the bottom.

keynoteslidesWhen one’s life is brought to the point of not using these applications to create or present, but instead, watching video tutorials about how to use this software to aid people that do create and present, it really puts things into perspective. I realize – none of this matters, at all. I wonder about the most successful, rich, powerful, or just plain happy people in the world, in the entire history of the world. Did they watch tutorials on how to use presentation software? Was this the puzzle piece that elevated them to the next level?

Watching a video tutorial where a guy changes the background color of a slide in a presentation while narrating his actions, effectively, makes me want to blow my fucking brains out. The very notion that these videos were authored is offensive enough; the part where I am (or anyone is) watching them is exponentially worse.

People present; let’s break this regression down from presenting to whatever the hell I’m doing. We have the apps, and if that isn’t bad enough, we have to learn how to use the apps, which can be so complex that people create tutorial videos on how to use them. The presenters aren’t watching them though, I am. I am learning these apps in order to keep the knowledge on standby for helping those that do present. Presenting is one thing, but learning a skill merely for the purpose of helping people that should have this skill, that’s a whole other ball of wax. I start to wonder, why people aren’t fired for lying on their résumé? If I’m so smart that I simply learn how to do someone else’s job so that I can help them do it, where and when did I go wrong?

One might say, “well you’re part of a global company and this helps you learn and grow.” This isn’t growing, this is chasing my tail in an endless rat maze. I can’t help but wonder, does the fact that I have a job (that some might tout as a career) make me a success? Do my mother and father think that I now amount to something? I can tell you this: maybe I’m my own worst critic, but after sitting here watching these tutorials, I am fairly certain that I have gotten nowhere in life and amount to nothing. I can take my certifications, my college degrees, and my pats on the back and stick ‘em. I’m not even a gear in the machine that I’m supposed to be raging against, I’m the grease slathered all over the gears.

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