Reviews

Obviously, this is some sort of post-experience opinion of something.

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Star Soldier

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I played this game a lot, even though it was repetitive and I remember getting sick and throwing up from playing it too much as a child. The cover of the game is a soldier, a Star Soldier, if you will, holding a gun. Oooh, what’s this game gonna be? Well, it’s you in a space ship shooting at other ships/creatures in outer space. I actually have never played any of the sequels for some reason, it had games on several more recent systems, I should probably get on that, it maybe fun! But I digress, this was the NES version.

You pop this game on and you’re battling. You start off with two lasers which shoot out parallel, one at a time. Through the game, you get “P” power ups, and they upgrade you a tad. First you gain the ability for rapid fire. Next time you get a “P,” your ship actually morphs and you now shoot a stream back as well as the two front. Finally, the third “P,” changes the music, you now shoot in five directions, three in the front and two in the back, plus you have a shield now which can take bombs from enemies, after you took a couple though, you would shoot in the three directions again. Any “P” you get afterward will result in destroying all enemies on the screen. That’s pretty much it.

The enemies are plentiful and come in quite a variety. I actually enjoyed the bosses, probably just because they looked cool. There was a some kind of little brain, big brain, and a face you’d have to kill. I think there were 16 levels, every 4 you fought big brain. The face guy would show up usually in the middle of some stages. I wish I could remember the names. I used to think face guy was the coolest looking boss ever.

Anyway, what didn’t I like about this game. The hit detection seemed a little generous to the computer. Seemed like when you thought you had a little more room, you didn’t. Also, a lot of the game’s background which you fly over frequently was a very similar color to bombs and some enemies, making it very hard to steer clear. Also, you would fly under some of the background without warning occasionally, which seems helpful on paper, but you also lost your ability to shoot when this happened, and in the spots where you would come back out would usually be an enemy, resulting in your demise. Extremely frustrating sometimes, but otherwise it was a fun game. The first time I ever reached the brain boss, I didn’t kill it fast enough, and I received a message that it got away. I was unsure if this meant it escaped and I was advancing or I was going to be penalized. Turned out to be the latter, you get sent back halfway through the stage and have to reach the brain again, this time killing it.

I’d say this is a must play, but not a must have.

Face Guy

Big Brain

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Super Mario Bros. 2

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Yeah yeah, I know, this wasn’t supposed to be the sequel, but Japanese people apparently think us Americans with the big American penis also had small American gamepray abirity. It was originally Doki Doki Panic, but that name is stupid, so they slapped the world of Mario onto it and packaged it for us to play.

I was pretty psyched to get this game. When I first got my NES, it was Christmas of 1988, and Super Mario Bros. 3 was already out, so I ended skipping the second installment. I had certainly seen a lot of stuff taken from the game in the Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Finally, I was about to enter this new (old) mystical world. I popped in the game, selected a player, and …

The game went to a yellow screen and I was out of luck. Turned out my Nintendo was defective, I had to wait a long time. Finally, I got everything sorted out. Now was the time to actually play the game.

Apparently, I’m the only person in history to ever enjoy this game. You play as Mario, Luigi, Toad, or Princess Toadstool. They all handle slightly different, Mario is all around basic, Luigi is slow, but jumps the highest, Toad is super quick, and Princess Toadstool and float for like, five seconds. You start off the game by having two of four energy slots filled. You’re already big, only when you are on your last energy slot do you turn small. You basically can pick up everything the hurl it. Vegetables out of the ground, enemies, keys, bombs, potions, whatever you need. Mushrooms made it into this game as well, so, woo hoo. Mushrooms are what restore your life. The enemies are visually very fun. There’s plenty of side-scrolling, but also some fun puzzles to try and put together.

Now, because this game didn’t follow the same format as, just about any other Mario games from this generation, it was looked upon as a black sheep. Often, I speak to people who dislike this game a lot, but what’s not to like? Ok, there are no question blocks, and we skipped the goombas and koopa troopas this time around. What are you, an old man who doesn’t like nothin’ that’s different? Mouser was awesome. The bird head was awesome. That pink girl thing that spit eggs at you was awesome. Riding a magic carpet was awesome. This is also the game where we got bombs, better yet, Bomb-Ombs, one of my favorite things ever.

I sold my copy years ago, when the Super Mario All Stars compilation came out for the SNES. Excellent port, I’ve got a good mind to break it out and play it.

Anyway, you play the game to the end and encounter a fellow named Wart, who looks nothing like Bowser. After throwing a few vegetables into his mouth, he dies. That’s actually what happens to me if I eat vegetables, so now you all understand. Anyway, after you rescue what looked to be imprisoned angels, we dip to a screen in which we see Mario sleeping. It was all a dream. No wonder this adventure is so messed up. So there you have it. You can all be happy, there’s your explanation as to why this game was so different. It was basically the retro equivalent of Twisted Metal Black.

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Rollergames

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Rollergames was one of those “I have no idea what he likes, so I’ll just get him this one because it looks kind of cool and kind of relevant” games that you receive. I received mine from a woman named Kathy. Never in my life did I request anything that had to do with rollerskates or show any interest in roller derbies. Somehow, I ended up with this game

You know what? This game is fun!

You pop on the game and see some kind of roller derby. The announcers come on and explain that three “rough” teams have kidnapped the owner and three good teams can only save him. Yes, the announcer says that they can only save him, not that “only the three good teams can save him.” Anyway, you can pick one of three characters, each representing one of the aforementioned “good” teams. T-Birds, HotFlash, or Rockers. The character from T-Birds is a big fat lookin’ dude. The other teams basically have the same looking character, an 80s rocker. HotFlash is a girl, so she’s got pink hair, Rockers is a guy, so he has green hair.

You start the game, each boss taunts you about playing his zone. They say things that aren’t clever or amusing, “I will treat you well, ha ha ha.” See, it’s funny, because he is the bad guy and he will not treat you well. Get it? Anyway you’re skating through the streets. It’s basically a side-scrolling platformer beat-em-up, but you’re on rollerskates. You can jump, punch, jump-attack, and occasionally grab your opponents in headlocks, knee them a few times and hurl them across the screen.

The game can get frustrating at times, precise jumps are harder to plan because of the lack of traction you maintain on rollerskates, but it’s still a fun game to play. There aren’t really any power ups or much deeper gameplay to talk about. Some levels scroll automatically and you have to keep up and avoid obstacles. It’s a solid game and a fun game, but not a must play.

I’d say this is a game to try casually and see if you enjoy. Playing to win it could get extremely frustrating. I know, because I spent a lot of time on this one and never actually accomplished that task.

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Friday the 13th for NES

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I knew very little about Jason Voorhees before I received this game as a Christmas present from my Uncle Pat and Aunt Linda back in 1989. Jason was always the “other guy,” you know, not Freddy. Still, was excited about playing this game, I popped it in and rocked it out.

So I’m a counselor in a summer camp. Nevermind wasting time figuring out who to pick, just pick Mark. Mark makes being anyone else useless. He runs the fastest and jumps the highest.

So you explore the camp grounds. For some reason, this camp is over-run with zombies, evil birds, and wolves. You start off with an amazingly useless weapon, rocks. After killing enough enemies, you get a knife. Eventually, you find yourself exploring caves, which leads you to finding bats and Jason’s mother’s head (AKA Pamela Voorhees). If you beat her while possessing the knife, you will win the machete. If you already have a machete, you will get an ax. Along the way, you get keys, lighters, serum, and occasionally other items, like a flashlight and a torch. You also have to explore cabins which sometimes have notes in them. At the beginning of the game, you’re told to use the lighter to light fireplaces in the cabins. When I first began playing this game, I used to do this. Eventually, a torch would appear, which was a powerful weapon, but I seem to have lost my touch over the years.

The serum is to use on yourself or camp counselors who are not doing so well. The key, if I recall, is to get into the special room in the cave which Jason’s mother’s head is in, or the cabin in the forest. I don’t remember ever needing it to open a regular cabin. The flashlight allows you to see doors against the backdrop of the caves, however, usually the repeating stone pattern in the background (which is always visible) indicates doors just as well. There are also forests (which is where you encounter wolves). Occasionally you find a cabin in the woods, but the mystique is ruined when you realize it’s just a regular cabin where you find no cool objects and nothing really happens.

A Jason alarm goes off randomly and you have to find the cabin Jason is terrorizing. Occasionally he will just attack you along the road, but most of the encounters are in the cabins. Sometimes, you go into a cabin to discover Jason by surprise (however, somewhat ruined by his energy meter which appears right away). When in the cabins, you can switch to different counselors (all located in their own cabins). The strategy you don’t pick up on right away is that you can equip each counselor during the game, so that getting to and fighting against Jason is easier.

The cabins are 3D(ish). Jason only appears when you’re facing a specific direction, which gives the game some element of suspense and surprise. An ominous synthesized fanfare plays when Jason appears on screen, which I think adds a cool effect. Each time you encounter Jason, his arsenal increases, he starts bare-fisted, then gains the use of a machete, then the ax (which in the 3D setting looks like a toothbrush). Sometimes when you defeat him in a battle, you will receive a machete or ax. After going in an out of cabins a few times, night begins to fall and we are now in a much darker setting.

There are also cabins at a dock in the middle of the lake, which you can only get to by boat. The Jason alarm will go off indicating that these cabins are in distress. What makes these cabins special is that this is where the children are. For some reason, in this game, Jason kills children, which is something he specifically abstains from in the movies. While boating your way to the cabins, zombies comically pop out of the water and elevate almost to the top of the screen, then fall back into the water again in a hilarious attempt to slow you down from getting to the cabins on the lake. Jason also will occasionally zip past the screen, as if treading water in a upright position and doing so extremely fast.

So after you kill Jason, you receive a message that you have defeated Jason, but now he’s back and stronger. This happens two times before your third and final kill, which ends the game. The second time around, you return to the caves and fight Jason’s mother’s head once again. This time, you receive her sweater, which if you recall, was used in the second movie to gain a slight advantage over him. In the game, this allows you to take less damage. The third time around, you receive the pitchfork. The pitchforks a devastatingly good weapon, which also remains on the screen after it kills something and can kill multiple enemies.

The catch to all these weapons is that when you acquire one, you lose the previous weapon you had. What makes this even worse is that after you have acquired an ax, torch, pitchfork, etc., knifes still appear. So if you’re inclined to move around the game while jumping, there’s a good chance a knife will appear right in your path, you will pick it up by accident and presto, your pitchfork is gone forever. Sloppy programming.

Anyway, I enjoyed this game a lot as a child. Incorporating elements from iconic horror movies is never easy, especially with several sequels following it which fans will be familiar with. Also, making an NES game suspenseful cannot be an easy feat. If you haven’t ever played this game before, it’s one I would suggest playing and actually trying to win.

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Simple Mobile Review

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Well, on July 11th, 2010, my two-year contract with AT&T came to a close. AT&T was a dreadful company. The customer service was good, but the service service, not so much. Their prices were non-competitive, why would they be? They’re the exclusive carrier of the Apple iPhone. Seriously though, 40 dollars for the voice plan (450 daytime minutes), 30 dollars for the data. You want texting? Shell over 5, 15, or 20 dollars more! (…for 500, 1500, or unlimited, respectively.) Make sure not to go over your minutes, or you’re in big trouble, daytime rates are 45 cents a minute! An 11 minute call is 5 dollars! There are overages for texts also, so you’d better just get unlimited. You can always up your minutes to 900, but that’s, of course, 60 dollars a month. So, 60+30+20=110. Not horrible, except when you add on taxes and surcharges, suddenly, your bill is 140! Yes, 140 dollars a month for a phone! Sprint has plans for 99 dollars, all you can eat! T-mobile, I think, has the same deal. Contract’s up, to quote Doug from The State, “I’m outta here.”

On July 14th, 2010, I rolled into my local cell phone dealer and signed up for Simple Mobile. I was going to go with T-Mobile, but I figured, what the hell. T-Mobile had a plan compatible with an unlocked iPhone for 70 dollars a month. I wanted to try these guys out though, why not? They only charged 60 dollars a month for unlimited everything! Signing up was 30 dollars and porting my number was 25, so even with paying 30+25+60=115, it was still 25 dollars less than another month with AT&T. Now, the iPhone wasn’t listed as one of the phones compatible with their network, so I knew this was going to be a rocky road, heck, the American-released iPhones are designed for AT&T.

Now, Simple Mobile’s website boasts about all the features their phones utilize, however, we’re going to skip those, because it should be taken for granted that all cell phone providers should have comparable coverage in this day and age. It’s like those damn “Color TV” signs outside of motels (it’s a technology that was developed in the 50s and mainstream by the 70s). It should no longer be something to boast about, but I digress. With its “cool guy” approach to marketing (where they act hip), one is to believe these are the good guys sticking it to the man while being hip awesomesauce and easily making the switch.

…like, totally.

Despite having the unsupported phone on their network, there were technical support provisions (albeit very poor) for using said phone on their network. (This tech support website can be found here, in case anyone is looking: http://simplemobile.yolasite.com) After setting up the phone properly (according to the information supplied by Simple Mobile themselves), here’s the list of grievances.

  • First complaint: The network is 3G, however, the iPhone will not operate on the 3G frequency (1700 MHz). You’re stuck with Edge, sorry!
  • Second complaint: No three-way calling. Frankly, I used this feature once in my three years with AT&T, yes, once. At first I was kind of miffed, but then thought about it practically, I haven’t needed to conference anyone into a call in a long time. Maybe if I get an important job one day?
  • Third complaint: The MMS doesn’t work (for in-coming messages) unless you get busy with some Cydia hacks.
  • Fourth complaint: No short-code SMS. This means, no text updates/replies from twitter/facebook, etc.
  • Fifth complaint: No gnarly ring-back tones. (This is probably the least important feature, though, ever.)

What’s the good in all this? The one glaring problem I had and have with AT&T’s network is its abysmal treatment of calls. Often times, I would be unable to make calls for no discernible reason. Immediately when I hit the “call” button, I’d receive a “call failed” message. Sometimes the phone would ring for a second and play a message saying that I was unable to make calls at “this time.” People calling me would not be able to reach me, receiving messages that I was unavailable or it would go straight to voicemail. When a call would connect, often the call would be choppy or cloudy sounding. Sometimes odd noises would interrupt the conversation for no apparent reason. Many times, the person I was talking to suddenly would no longer be able to hear me, but I could here them (or vice versa). Apparently the call became a one way only street. Finally, most of time with AT&T, the call would drop. Sometimes it would only happen once, sometimes frequently. Trying to continue a conversation was unbearable. Sometimes these disconnects would be foreseeable, other times, you would seemingly have a strong connection and the call would drop abruptly. Some said this was the iPhone, some blamed AT&T. Now that I have used the iPhone (3G) on two carriers, I can say with certainty: it was AT&T. I have not had one single dropped call in 3 weeks. The last phone call I tried to make before switching my service, dropped. I suppose if you’re someone who uses your phone to talk to people and not just surf the web, you may find this news very pleasant and inviting.

So which of these problems are inherent to Simple Mobile and which are a result of using the iPhone with a network other than AT&T? With T-Mobile, three-way calling does work, as does short code SMS (and of course ring-back tones). On both networks, the iPhone is stuck using Edge frequencies. The MMS problem is also present with both carriers, but again, easy to fix with a Cydia patch.

So the end result is for 60 dollars a month, you get unlimited talk, text, and web/data from Simple Mobile, as opposed to the 140 I was paying with AT&T (which didn’t even include unlimited minutes). You give up some features, but if they aren’t important to you, you’ll save a bundle. If you really desire to gain some of them back, you can fork over some more money and go with T-Mobile. I don’t know, however, what (if any) surcharges are included whereas Simple Mobile is 60 dollars, period. My one other gripe was that their tech support was (I found) very lacking. When initially searching for answers about why I was unable to update twitter via SMS, the representative really had trouble understanding that it was a problem on Simple Mobile’s end and not twitter. Luckily, Simple Mobile has a twitter (http://twitter.com/mysimplemobile) and the user of that account is fairly more knowledgeable than his phone tech support counterparts. The twitter user was actually how I discovered that Simple Mobile did not support short-code SMS. Although the internet speed still takes a hit, I used a rotary dial phone until I was about 12, so having the internet in my pocket still impresses me at just about any speed, plus, I’m able to listen to Pandora at the high quality setting while driving (most of the time), so that’s a win. Viva Simple Mobile!


Updated October 6th, 2010: I discovered recently that Simple Mobile also does not allow for simultaneous voice and data usage. Minor inconvenience. I rarely ever would use data while on the phone and when I did, it was only because I could, not because it was any kind of serious help.

Wrestlemania 26 Thoughts

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Unified Tag Team Championships: The Miz & Big Show defeated John Morrison & R-Truth
Horrible, quick, waste of time – these teams both are thrown together. Miz and Morrison were the champs last year. Now after all that has happened since last April 5th, we find them both having made a move which is not only lateral, but arguably regressive. This match was quick and did nothing more than get these guys onto the card, maybe that was the only point.

Randy Orton defeated Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton was part of the main event last year, DiBiase and Rhodes were not even on the card. Clearly they have pulled him down a few notches on their way up. Randy is gaining a face push though and this match was (theoretically) the end of this feud and all parties involved can move on.

Jack Swagger defeated Dolph Ziggler, Shelton Benjamin, Drew McIntyre, Christian, Montel Vontavious Porter, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston and Kane in the Money in the Bank match
Not a particularly great MITB match, the end was broken, sadly, with Swagger struggling to get the briefcase off of the hook. At least this win breathes some life into Swagger.

Triple H defeated Sheamus
“But, daaaaaaaaad…” Well, this is great, Sheamus needed this win, badly, in order to give his character any credibility, jobbed to Triple H. Again, Triple H has to be ‘the man’ and crush the competition. Triple H didn’t need to win this match, Sheamus did. As usual, Triple H ruins wrestling.

Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk
Ok, Rey is the face and Punk is the heel, but this feud just began. Now that the face is victorious, what is the motivation to carry on this feud? Punk should have won.

Bret Hart defeated Vince McMahon
If Bret didn’t win this match, it would have been lunacy. Vince took his beating like a man for what happened in Montreal in 1997. The swerve at the end was an afterthought, clearly, but it was entertaining to watch.

Chris Jericho (c) defeated Edge
Unexpected – and welcomed. Edge was looking like he was gonna roll right over Jericho and make his triumphant claim of the championship after winning the Royal Rumble. Now this feud and continue and these two can do some more business.

Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Alicia Fox and Vickie Guerrero defeated Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Gail Kim and Beth Phoenix
This match was stupid and I didn’t respect it. Some divas can wrestle, some are just pretty faces. Vickie doing the frog splash was acceptable, but she botched the ending as well. Great that we have two women’s championships and neither is on the line at Wrestlemania. Eh, this match was what it was, bathroom break for the attendees.

John Cena defeated Batista (c)
I thought John Cena was the right guy to go over, but wasn’t sure if it would go that way. Batista was quite the heel going into this and in typical WrestleMania fashion, the good guy is supposed to triumph over evil. Cena posing with the “anti-Cena mob” after the match was awesome. Well played John Cena!

The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels
Wisely, this was saved for the main event. Last year, these two tied it up, but after they put on what was (arguably) one of the best matches of all time, it wasn’t the main event. Following these two is next to impossible. Although I think last year had the better bout, this year was still excellent, and the tear-jerking ending was Sean Michaels losing and exiting the arena to no music, shelving his career permanently.

Tell me this, why was there not one single interview segment on this show? Really not ok. Santino’s elongated Slim James (Slim Jim) commercial spot doesn’t count.

All in all, not a great show. Maybe next year…

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Macho Madness Review: Ooooooh Yeah!

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randy-savage-dvd-cover Reliving Randy Savage‘s WWF/WCW career was quite a trip down memory lane, but there were definitely potholes in this road. It had some key matches of his along the way, but I definitely felt something lacking, sans other superstar interviews.

We start from Savage’s WWF debut, which was a little disappointing, he had plenty of action in AWA and other territories that they could have covered. One thing that really drives me crazy is how the WWE continues to mess with the soundtrack of the original footage. Often they play a badly looped audience track over the original music, and then the replacement music on top of that. It becomes painfully obvious that they’re tampering with the music when you can no longer hear the announcers or interviews over the garbled mess of noise that was produced just for this DVD, lucky us. For some reason, they dub over Ric Flair’s 1992 entrance theme with his current theme, only later to freely play his actual theme from that era in a different match. Why WWE?

Also, a little more back story would have helped in between matches. Matt Striker and Maria set some of the story up for us, but who is going to remember them in 4 years? I was shocked that they edited out Jake Roberts slapping Elizabeth (Savage’s then wife) at their Tuesday in Texas match. Seriously that was a huge selling point of the feud, scrapping it on the DVD is just awful. Savage’s interview pouring emotion out after that match was the cherry on top, which is also absent from this set. Where is the rematch with the Warrior, also?

There were plenty of extras on the DVDs, interviews, his wedding to Elizabeth, although they were distributed a bit oddly. The chronology of the extras didn’t match that of the features. For example, Macho’s wedding took place in 1991, which is found on the first DVD, which covers 1985 – 1988. At least they had it there. His proposal to Elizabeth was pretty much a footnote during Maria and Striker’s chatting.

I was pretty excited about this DVD and feel a little disappointed, but it is nice to have some of these matches on DVD. It was very nice that they didn’t bury him like they did the Warrior. Randy Savage and the WWE are not known to be on good terms and the WWE has a record of really ripping to shreds big name wrestlers who have fallen out of their good graces. If you’re a big Macho Man fan, this DVD is still a must have. I’m not sure if it would make an addition to every wrestling fan’s library, however. For me, hearing “Pomp and Circumstance” and watching this maniac come out in some of the most fashionable robes I’ve ever seen, with a lovely lady by his side, exclaiming “Oooh yeah” and eventually dropping the big elbow on his opponent brought a smile to my face. There is no one in wrestling right now like the Macho Man, I’m not sure there ever will be.

Rating: ★★★★★★★½☆☆

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My Late WWE Legends of Wrestlemania Review

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legendsofwrestlemaniaWWE Legends of Wrestlemania has been something I have been waiting to play for quite a while. I don’t mean when it was announced, I mean back when Acclaim gave us “Legends of Wrestling.” Although there were some good things about Legends of Wrestling, it came up short. One of its big vices was that it contained wrestlers who were indeed legends, but a good deal of them were WWF legends and Acclaim did not have the WWF licensing to recreate all of the elements in quite the harmonious fashion I was hoping for. I wondered if the WWF were to release an all legends game, how it would fair. I felt like this may actually be that game. Again, we came up short.

The game features a nice roster, although conspicuous by their absence, some of the legends that you would expect to be in this game. Namely, Macho Man Randy Savage and Demolition were missing from the roster. The character models looked great for the most part, except Hulk Hogan and Andre were blown up a bit. The animations were very nice and the presentation really brought back memories. Unfortunately, THQ in their lacking wisdom, decided to rig the controls so that any nostalgic fan could pick up a controller and play. While this is great for the casual fan (who will most likely not buy the game), it was an excellent way to drive away fans who would feel much more at home having the same engine that Smackdown! Vs. Raw uses.

Your range of motion is very limited and after years of playing games like No Mercy, Fire Pro, and Smackdown! Vs. Raw, you feel like you’re being cheated out of gameplay elements. Due to the lacking range of motion, the action grows repetitive. I was also unhappy with some of the theme music. Apparently the WWE felt it necessary to change some of the wrestler’s signature themes to music that just did not belong. Luckily I have all of this music on my computer and ported it into the game and did some handy work to change the music appropriately.

The gameplay modes are mixed. The tagline of the game was “Relive, Rewrite, Redefine.” Relive is a mode where you, as it sounds, relive a Wrestlemania bout. What’s nice about these matches is that you have objectives to recreate from the match’s real life counterpart. Executing certain moves begins a string of actions which actually took place. Slamming Andre prompts a quick follow up leg-drop and a victory. Steve Austin picks up a bottle of water at ringside to spit it into the Rock’s face. Rewrite has you change the outcome of a match, basically the original loser goes over. Not exactly the most fun mode, but I guess if you were unhappy with an outcome, now is your opportunity to change it. Redefine is pretty fun, Wrestlemania (the first) hosted an Andre Vs. John Studd match, now we see that match take place in a Hell in a Cell match. Although this mode is interesting, I would have rather left the Rewrite and Redefine modes to my own exhibitions and had 3 times as many Relive matches.

For your Create A Legend, you have a set of gauntlets to run. The wrestlers you fight against are divided up in somewhat arbitrary groups of 10. After finishing a few of these you gain attribute points along the way. Eventually you end up at the gauntlet of the entire roster, all 38 legends. Finally, after porting the SvR roster into the game, you have one last gauntlet of 10 current WWE wrestlers to burn through. After this, there is really nothing left to do but replay the game. Because of the repetitive gameplay, however, you don’t really care to do this any longer. Plus, if you had any interest in playing this game before, the 38-man gauntlet has taken it out of you. It felt like they threw that mode in to artificial inflate gameplay time.

As for the create a legend mode, the physical appearance looks very good. The moves you have to choose from aren’t horrible, but why do they limit the finishers so much? The finishers are all chains (a succession of 3 moves). The finisher chains that exist for the superstars are the only ones in the game. You cannot designate your own. What does this mean? If you created, let’s say, the Macho Man, there is no way to make the elbow off of the top rope your finisher. very shabby. A good number of moves are locked until you import the SvR roster, but still, then you only have those finishers to choose from as well.

Sound: Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
It’s a sports game, so I can’t really beef with the sound too much, although having to do my own handy work to make the real themes be part of the game annoyed me. Is it so hard to get the same music you used back in the day WWE?

Graphics: Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆
Although some of the character models are a little glorified, the game looks great, for the most part. The crowd still looks crappy, but I guess I shouldn’t be that picky about the crowd appearance.

Presentation: Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆
I’m going to double dip with the incorrect theme music and take points off for presentation also. There also could have been a ref in the ring. That having been said, the game has a good deal of little things that were awesome. Having all of the venues for the event replicated in the game is really nice. The lower thirds for the wrestlers match how they really looked for each Wrestlemania is a nice touch also. The highlights of the matches you are playing with in the “Relive, Rewrite, Redefine” mode was also nice, personally I would have liked to see the whole match, but that may not have been possible with the remaining space on the disc.

Control: Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
I’m throwing off the gloves for this one. The control was balls. Seriously, it’s a steep learning curve with very little payoff once you learn it. There just is no depth. Once you master the controls, you’re just frustrated that it isn’t easier to do things that you want to do. The worst scenarios are when you have to have your opponent in the right place outside the ring and cause him to be groggy before grappling with him the right way. When you have to do this to fulfill an objective, it’s the worst. I take that back, kicking out of a pin is the worst. The amount of button mashing you have to do should be illegal. It doesn’t feel like it makes any sense. You can be winning a match and when you’re the victim of a small package, kicking out require way more effort and physical energy than it should. I also feel like limiting the buttons that are used complicated things more, as more combinations are required to execute simple tasks. You sometimes will find yourself doing something other than what you intended due to the same buttons being used for multiple tasks.

Gameplay: Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Once you have watch the intros and grown excited, the thrill is now over. This is sad, you want to have fun with your legendary wrestler, but the control makes this too difficult. There are some nice elements, like if you have a manager he’ll help you out by distracting the opponent or placing your foot on the ropes during what would be a 3 count. I’m not quite sure how the game determines when your opponent has had enough. Sometimes beating on him for a while will give you a pin. Sometimes, several finishers in, they will remain unbeatable. The game just doesn’t flow.

My big question: why couldn’t they just use the Smackdown! Vs. Raw controls? Making fans of the game and product learn a new control set up just seems pointless and aggravating. Maybe next year. THQ has done some boneheaded things with WWE games, they sadly made this game a rental and not a keeper.

Overall Rating: ★★★★★★½☆☆☆

Wii Punch Out Cover

Wii Punch Out!! Review

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Wii Punch Out CoverI think anyone who is roughly my age and older and had any interest in video games played Punch Out, or Mike Tyson’s Punch Out back in the late 80s. This game was awesome, there’s been plenty of great games from the past, but somehow, it was always very easy for me to pick up a controller and try my luck in the WVBA again. The characters were always so much fun to revisit. Sadly for me, over the years, defeating Mike Tyson/Mr. Dream grew more difficult as my timing declined with the lack of practice. The journey was always satisfying for me though.

For those who don’t know, Punch Out!! is a game for the original NES that takes place in a completely fiction boxing circuit called the WVBA. You play the role of Little Mac, a 17 year old kid from the Bronx, NY who weighs just over 100 pounds. Basically, the last person you would expect to be fighting pro boxers who are 6’3 and 250 pounds. Most of the fighters were flamboyantly patriotic to their respective countries, which made the colorful and gave them quite a bit of flair. After deciphering your opponents’ patterns and exploiting their weakness, you slowly overcome the odds and eventually become the World Champion and take on either Mike Tyson or Mr. Dream, depending on which revision of the game you got a hold of. Super Punch Out!! was released for the Super NES back in 1994. It featured new characters as well as characters from the NES version. It would be 15 years before we saw our friends from the WVBA again.

Once I heard that this game was coming out, I was psyched. I shot over to Video Game Buddy as soon as I got the call that this game was available. Lacing up the green gloves again was very exciting. We start with Glass Joe, as we did over 20 years ago. After a few snapshots of the opponent we are about to face in their element, the fight begins. I can’t help but wonder if the versions of the characters we see now are what the creators had imagined many years ago. Glass Joe yelling “viva la France” or Don Flamenco urging you to strike him with taunts of “vamos” and shouting “toro!” before throwing a punch at you. We have quick cut scenes between the rounds where your opponent will usually do something comical, followed by Doc giving you words of wisdom. By the way, the first thing I did during this was it the minus key, of course I heard a confirming jingle and when the next round started I had energy replenished. At the time of this writing, I’ve completed the Minor and Major circuit titles. So far, the game definitely feels like Punch Out!! I’ve opted to use the motion control instead of the old school method because, why not? It’s the Wii after all, I’m not so lazy that I can’t gingerly throw punches at cartoons yet. Let’s get to reviewing the game like they do on all the big websites.

Sound Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
Nintendo did a great job with the voice acting and sound effects. The music is excellent, borrowing many a track from the original Punch Out!! and glorifying it further.

Graphics Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆
It isn’t a huge surprise that the graphics are not the strongest feature of Wii Punch Out!! This is one of those games where it just really doesn’t matter. The characters are cell-shaded, which probably was the best avenue to take since the characters are based on their original cartoon counterparts.

Presentation Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
I found myself getting very excited while watching the introductions for the boxers before a fight. The menus are flashy, but not too flashy. Load time is reasonable. For anyone who remembers what happens to Don Flamenco when you pound him enough in the NES game, you will not be disappointed this time around. One thing I don’t get, when did Doc develope this weird obsession with chocolate? They just throw it in, it feels kind of forced, but it is treated as if it’s something we’re just supposed to know like an inside joke.

Control Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
Spot on for the most part and simple are the controls. Sometimes I found myself not executing head punches with as much accuracy as I would like. In some cases, I’d dodge left or right when I meant to throw a head punch. You can activate optional controls to throw head punches via the trigger buttons rather than the analog stick on the nun-chuck. I’m guessing the regular control is as easy as the NES controls. Nintendo has always stuck by the KISS method which works perfectly as far as I’m concerned. I have heard that the balance board is a crappy addition to the gameplay and just frustrates you above all else.

Gameplay Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★
Gameplay is the feature that made the Punch Out!! series so legendary. The basic pattern-based combat mixed with colorful characters and some of the exhibition modes are just really fun, which is how all games should really be, fun. As I have been known to say, “Gameplay is key.”

Overall Overall Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
Obviously, I’m very high on this game. It’s fun for anyone who played the original or SNES version, at the same time it introduces Punch Out!! to a new generation. I know not everyone has the same taste in games that I do, but I would say that Wii Punch Out!! is a must play. Maybe it isn’t a must buy, but I know it’s one of those games that playing it makes you want to play it more. Rent it, buy it, borrow it, play it at a friend’s house, just make sure you step in the ring at least once, you’ll be glad you did.

terminator

Terminator: Salvation

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terminatorWalking into this movie, I had a bitter taste in my mouth from Terminator 3, but it occurred to me that my best hope to enjoy this movie would be to completely separate any connection to the first two movies. The third movie was of no concern to me. Clearly the producer just wiped his behind with some 8.5×11 sheets of paper a screenwriter translated it into a script. Enough seething with bitterness, onto the movie.

We aren’t travelling to the past anymore. We are now in the future and basically, just watching the war unfold. Watching this movie, it’s as if we’re forgetting the third movie anyway. We get to see the horror which Kyle Reese was describing to Sarah and all of us back in 1984. The homages to the previous movies was a nice little addition. The explosions are always welcome as well. The movie was really just fun to watch. The bonus of this fun movie was that it carried the Terminator license. I would actually recommend seeing this, highly. Again, it’s nowhere near the greatness of the first two movies, but frankly what movies are or ever will be? When this movie hits DVD, I’ll be watching it and cranking my speakers up. Anyone that knows me, knows that the amount of explosions affects the overall value of the movie. This flick was not stingy with the explosions, so there we have it. I was also thrilled to see McG’s name in the credits, the producer of Supernatural. Get out and watch this one! I’m done already.

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