Susan G. NO MEN

I was somewhere – seemed like a corporate office. There was some kind of fund-raiser/awareness raiser about breast cancer. I popped my head in the room where this was taking place, while digging into my pocket to search for a few dollars to donate. I was met with immediate venomous resistance: “NO MEN IN HERE, GET OUT!” Shocked, I turned my head and saw that it was indeed a room full of women, exclusively.

I high-tailed it out of there, bewildered as to why they would limit their audience via sexual discrimination. I was now on an escalator, complaining bitterly about my experience and was told to keep my voice down, that the two women that run this program were right behind us. Angrily, I said, “good!” I turned around and said, “why the hell would you do prohibit men from trying to help!?” They gestured at me and said, “come, take a walk with us.”

Suddenly, I was walking outside with them, it was a woodsy area, pretty quiet and abandoned. They seemed to be having a civil conversation with me, when they suddenly grabbed me and a few other people joined them in restraining me. “Do you know how many cases of men being raped by women there are in this country? Not nearly enough…” I remember being restrained using pieces of white cloth – one of which was balled up and shoved into my mouth. I remember screaming and yelling “no” (as best as I could). One of the girls revealed a gigantic syringe. If this part weren’t horrifying, it would have been comical – at least the way it looked. “How would you like HPV?” My screams and futile protests grew louder and more rapid. The large needle was then being slowly lowered, just hovering above puncturing the left side of my pelvis.

This was the part where it transitioned to me watching this as a movie – in which the movie was now showing a wide angle shot of these woods, far away from the action. A very audible unrestrained scream sounded and echoed as the scene came to a close and so did my dream.

Star Trek: M2J Style

I found myself (apparently) the captain, or at least some kind of designated leader of a crew on a space ship. It felt like Star Trek. I guess the ship we were on wasn’t sufficient for bunking, as we elected to stop at a fancy space hotel. Upon entering, the crew and I marveled at how luxurious it was. I encountered what I believed to be a female feline-like alien, it kind of resembled Mewtwo from Pokemon, but with pink and purple zebra stripes. We didn’t get along, I remember bad vibes followed by a heated argument. What is what about, I can’t recall. Our crew found its way to our respective rooms. I got the distinct vibe that the employees of the hotel had some degree of disdain for us.

At this point, I became an audience member for the show I was in, I suppose. I saw what appeared to be other guests of the hotel entering some recreational portion of the facilities, an act that was encouraged by the employees. They were in what was supposed to simulate floating in space as some kind of relaxation exercise. The guests that entered into the room for this, however, found themselves falling very fast. Falling? In space? That didn’t sit right. They continued to fall and as if changing the scene before we got to see their fate, I was back to me again. I grabbed some of my crew members and decided to have a look around the place. We got onto the elevator, three of us I believe. I was in the back left corner of the elevator, a female officer was to my right, and another ambiguous officer to her right. Two burly men wearing black t-shirts got on the elevator and stood between us and the door. They turned around suddenly and held us up with phasers. Before I could soak in this situation, the officers to my right disarmed the men. I didn’t see the one on the far right, but the one to my immediate right swiftly kicked the gun out of the right hand of the man in front of us with her left foot. After a proper beating, we somehow discovered that this hotel was used to enslave the guests in order to build something. I think it was a weapon of some kind for whomever was in charge.

We decided to return to the portion of the hotel where our fellow crew members were staying. I encountered the feline once again. Suddenly, I got the vibe that although we evidently had our differences, she was not part of the evil plot and in fact was in every bit of danger as we were. Perhaps she could be an ally. I then heard her voice, which was telepathic, say something like, “If only you could hear me you would know I’m not your enemy.” I shouted excitedly, “I can hear you!” We both had a moment of rejoice. I turned to my crew, who looked confused. “Can you hear her?” I asked. They both shook their heads, “no.”

We gathered up the whole crew and decided we were going to have to make a break for the exit. We would probably meet with hostiles on our way out and there was a possibility that they would have tampered with or robbed our ships. Suddenly, a group of about 3 geisha-looking women came in. They apparently were other guests at the hotel who were trying to make their escape. They had very distinctive colors. One was red, one blue, and one green, each with matching gowns, make-up and accessories (such as paper fans). I remember the fans very clearly for some reason, white toward the base, and gradiated with their respective colors toward the top. Something about them made me not think, but know that they were infiltrators. They were working with the hotel and were not to be trusted.

Unfortunately, this is where I woke up.

The Closet Doll

Ana and I are watching TV/movies at my place. I stop at the closet in front of the bathroom to look for something, but hanging on the door is a doll of a blond girl with blue eyes, a doll which I have not seen before. I brush the oddity off and chalk it up to me just not noticing. I step into the bathroom for a second and when I come out, now standing in the place of this doll is a life-sized doll, or taxidermied girl, or something. She was a very sterile looking person, although had the characteristics of a person, lifeless. She had log straight blond hair with bangs, blue eyes, and a dress on. Her eyes were big and I don’t recall her blinking. She looked kind of like a Real Doll:

Ana remarked that it was freaky, but I seemed to want to ignore her and continue watching TV. The doll began to speak. Ana was scared, I was scared, but for some reason, let my need to be a jerk get the best of me, and began immediately mouthing off to the doll. I introduced myself to the doll as “Dolph Ziggler,” exactly in the fashion which the wrestler of the same name used to. The doll continued saying something, but I was caught up in the moment. With my adrenaline pumping and need for some kind of logic, I grabbed the doll by the back of the throat. “It’s probably got batteries which is how it can talk or something,” I said to Ana. I reached into its mouth while it was still talking and it started gagging. I pulled out two 9 volt batteries and showed them to Ana triumphantly. I then leaned the doll up against the door and said to Ana, “Now it’ll probably keep talking like in every horror movie where there’s an electronic device that gets unplugged. Then the doll started talking again. 2 points for me. It began slowly walking towards us. Ana kept begging me to just get out of there with her, but for some reason, I didn’t want to. I shoved the doll into the closet and and slammed the door. “There, problem solved.” I heard sounds coming from other closets in the apartment, when I opened the doors, the doll would be there. I decided to just keep all the doors closed and that would solve the problem for now, but then the doll managed to creep out of the shadows and quickly slip back in. Finally, I said, “Alright already, what do you want.” The doll emerged from under my futon and started changing form. It became a black guy for some reason, looked to be about his mid-twenties. Short hair, dressed in what looked like a down jacket and had something on his back, either a backpack or some kind of object he was carrying. He asked, “Alright, can we talk sensibly without you being a wise-ass or making any ethnic jokes?” “Fine,” I said, and then I woke up.

That isn’t HD and I Love My Hoodie!

This dream was relatively uneventful, but in this dream, I had this Hulkamania hoodie, it looked like the regular Hulkamania shirt, but it was a hoodie… Why do I not have this in real life? It doesn’t exist! Why does it not exist? This world is incomplete. It would look something like this:

…but this is a bootleg off some shady website, never did this exist as official merch. Also, in my dream, there was a zipper down the middle. Nextly, I was in a room with people, watching a standard def TV. They told me it was HD. I told them it was not. The argument got heated. They said things to me like, “Look at how nice the picture is. It has to be HD!” I checked how it was connected, it was connected using composite RCAs, these:

…this kind of connection doesn’t carry HD. I tried explaining this to the masses, but to no avail. Clearly, the lessons I have interpreted to take away from this dream are as follows: I am great at coming up with merchandise and should work for a big company and be paid lots of money for my ideas, and everyone should always listen to me, because no matter how many people disagree with me, I am always right.

The Multifunctional Facility OR The Funeral Frenzy!

This dream had a prior part to it, however I can’t recall it, so we begin where I am in my native land, Lexington, New York. There was a gas station that isn’t there in real life, which is kind of a big deal, since there are no gas stations in the town where I’m from. Riddled with curiosity, I decided to stop at this gas station. There were no gas pumps, however. I walked into the adjacent building to discover that there were vending machines and continued past them into a hallway which led to a small TV studio. Now, really baffled, I stepped outside and saw a marquee that this was also an HBO store. I was trying to make sense of why an HBO store would be in my small town of 850 people and wandered back into the building again. Now it was a church, and I was there while multiple funerals were happening. Apparently this set me off into some sort of frenzy, because I ran at one of the corpses and punted him in the head. Although this shocked everyone attending, the corpse woke up and was suddenly okay. I looked around the room and discovered that other corpses were not laying down, but posed standing on pedestals all over the room, dressed in over-done flapper-like 1920s clothing. (The guy I kicked just had a brown and gray suit on.) This apparently made me even more mad, because I suddenly started smashing and throwing things all over the place. At one point, I remember tearing a leather seat cushion off of a chair and hurling it at a piano. It struck the keys and played the notes audibly. It was at this point that I woke up.

The Elusive Morning Beej

So in this installment, I was woken up by a phone call, a friend (female) who was with a group of friends was calling to ask if I wanted to hang out. I of course did, but had just woken up and hadn’t even begun to stir yet. She said “I’ll come give you a morning beej to get you going.” Obviously, I was thrilled. She then said “Ok, I’m outside.” Now, in this dream world, I was living with my father. The place we made residence, however, was not a place we had ever lived. It was a very modern house and my friend’s face appeared in a circular window. She was smiling and waving as she put away her phone. I left my room and was going to let her in, but she was already in the living room. She was with two other girls (one who I know in real life and one who doesn’t actually exist) and a guy friend. They were sitting down gabbing with my father about something. He stood up after a while and started showing them magic tricks with two decks of cards, one red and one blue. It actually was pretty cool, he was doing cool slide-of-hand stuff with them. My friend who was going to make good on the morning beej came into my room with me, but I told her I wanted to pee first.

…suddenly, I was in my high school, trying to locate a bathroom. I was walking to spots where I knew bathrooms should be, but there would just be closets or elevators in their stead. Eventually, I ended up at some kind of craft fair that was taking place in the school and asked one of the vendors where the bathroom was. She pointed one out, but while walking to it, a man ahead of me walked in before I could get there and locked the door. I woke up.

The Parasite Demon?

I had a weird dream that I befriended some …person… who turned out to be some supernatural demon kind of creature that fed off of my friendship to exist in this world and terrorize it. Once I realized this, I revoked my friendship and, although I don’t remember how I got to this point, I found myself holding this thing’s human-like skull with a pair of tweezers and setting in on fire. While it was burning, it was trying to convince me one last time to stay friends with it. It finally got too hot to handle and it fell out of the tweezers, hitting me between my thumb and index finger before hitting the ground and vanishing. When I woke up, that part of my hand felt like it was slightly burned.

The Bird-Wire Civilization Dream

I don’t recall a lot of the detail of this one. I somehow managed to be up on electrical wire with birds and discovered that once you are up there amongst them, they are revealed to be an incredibly sophisticated civilization which we are incapable of seeing from the ground. All of the birds were like a community and had homes, families, shops, errands, etc. It was kinda trippy.

The Motorcycle and the Jerk Cop Dream

I somehow ended up with a motorcycle. I parked it on the street and went into some place, when I came out the motorcycle was gone. I happened to see two cops across the street and asked one if he had seen anyone leave with the bike. He said, “Sorry I didn’t. We don’t really pay attention to motorcycles.” Then his face grew a little more agitated and he said, “Go fuck yourself.” I was so annoyed, but more concerned with my bike. Somehow, it turned out that someone moved it into the place I was at for safe-keeping.

Hot-Headed Neighbor Dream

I also had a dream that my neighbor was shouting at his wife and a much younger girl who was with them (who also had a stroller). It sounded like they wanted him to do something and he was coming up with excuses why he shouldn’t have to. I pulled him aside and told him it was obvious he just wanted to be lazy and he should stop yelling. I then noted that I hadn’t seen the younger girl before, so this must have been an occasion. I asked if it that was his daughter and he informed me it was actually his grand daughter. When I asked if the child in the stroller was his great granddaughter then, he informed me that the child was actually his great great granddaughter. I was shocked. After he seemed like he had lightened up, I sent him back to his family in a better mood.